Heart issues

Just back from Cambodia last nite. Many thoughts. Guess I will blog them down in a series of entries.

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you;
I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.

And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees
and be careful to keep my laws."

~ Ezekiel 36:26-27

Sensed that the Lord impressed upon me these verses today. These are some of the key verses that I hold dearly in my Christian walk. Time and again, God always send people to minister to me using them. Offhand, I can remember 3 occasions:-

1. Back in 2000, I was struggling about leaving my former church. I found that I couldn't love people. I needed a new place to go. I needed to start afresh.

2. More recently, a brother prayed them over me - plus the verses that follow. No lightning nor thunder. Main thought that came to me: Dare to dream again for God (restoration and salvation of family).

3. And again in a ladies retreat last mth, a sister prayed these verses over me. Felt the Lord's assurance that I can love with this new heart of love that He is giving / has given me.

From this Cambodia trip, I think I've been more blessed that I blessed the orphans. I could never imagine myself playing so wildly with children. Always think that I'm not a "children person" - I mean I always had difficulties in relating to these little ones.

This is my 2nd mission trip dealing with young children. And God has really blown my mind. For one thing, I didn't have to crack my head to think what to say to them or how to play with them. They just got attracted to me. They just wanted a loving touch...

Actually, I'm not really a huggie person. Seems like there's just some prohibition about physical contact. But this morning when I woke up, I simply missed hugging the children. I want to show them that Jesus loves them. Thank God for His compassion that He has deposited in my heart.

Remember on a particular nite when we had a time of worship and ministry for the kids, we were going among the little ones praying in tongues and asking the Holy Spirit to minister to them. I felt prompted to hug one little girl, and I was totally overwhelmed. Felt like I could feel her pain and feeling of rejection. At the same time, was totally at lost about how to minister to her. Was just praying for her in the Spirit (and in English) that the Lord will reveal Himself to her.

Last nite, touched down Singapore. I was glad to bless my mum with a cab ride home after her full day of work. (btw my mum works as pharmacist at T2). Reached home, the greeting for my dad came quite naturally (I'm surprised) and we had a few decent exchanges of dialogue (Thank God).

This morning, my mum called me to let me know that my parents have reached JB safely. Reminded me during the cab ride when she told me that my elder bro called from Bali to "report strength" a few days ago... Used to feel that it's ok not to call home when I'm overseas. Erm, I mean, they will see me when I'm home again rite? Now I guess, it's always good to do that! The very least of actions to show love to them... ok the next overseas trip k? Hee

To round off, I'm amazed at God's work in my heart. The desire to love people has been my prayer since uni years. He has heard my prayer for He was the one who placed this desire in my heart. Felt that He has expanded my capacity to love - a process made possible cos of the love He has extravagantly poured in my life.

Hallelujah. Praise the Lord. =)